Archer spends a fretful night in sickbay with Dr. Phlox after Porthos, Archer's pet beagle, picks up a deadly virus on an alien planet. Meanwhile, crew members believe Archer's increased stress level is due to Porthos' illness, but Dr. Phlox suspects it has to do with Archer's repressed sexual tension and urges Archer to discuss it with T'Pol.
Having managed to offend the Kreetassans yet again while negotiating for a much-needed plasma injector, Archer returns to Enterprise frustrated. Things get even worse when he learns that Porthos picked up some kind of pathogen on the Kreetassan homeworld, and must be confined to sickbay. Unfortunately, Porthos' condition only worsens, and Dr. Phlox must prevent the beagle's auto-immune system from collapsing entirely. As Archer worries about the fate of his pet, T'Pol informs him that she has discovered the reason for the Kreetassans' anger: apparently, Porthos urinated on one of the 300-year-old Alvera trees - which are considered cultural treasures - outside the Hall of Diplomacy. In order to receive the plasma injector for Enterprise, the captain will most likely have to perform several acts of contrition. This infuriates Archer even more - especially since he thinks the Kreetassans should have known there was a pathogen in their atmosphere that Porthos couldn't handle.
Frustrated, Archer decides to spend the night in sickbay to be near his pet. While there, he observes Phlox working on a cure, as well as performing odd personal grooming task and feeding his menagerie of creatures. Unable to sleep, Archer goes to the ship's gym to exercise, where he encounters T'Pol. As the two run side by side on treadmills, they argue over how to deal with the Kreetassans. T'Pol thinks Archer is, once again, allowing his human feelings to get in the way of his duty, while Archer is irritated by T'Pol's unsympathetic stance regarding Porthos. In the middle of their work-out, Hoshi summons the pair with the list of demands from the Kreetassans. Archer reads them and storms back to sickbay, disgusted. Unfortunately, Porthos' condition is even worse - the pooch has gone into anaphylactic shock, and his body is rejecting Phlox's treatment.
As the night creeps on, Archer grows more exhausted and worried. Phlox suggests that perhaps the sexual tension between the captain and T'Pol is contributing to his frustration, a notion that Archer quickly dismisses. Later that night, Archer dreams of a funeral for Porthos and an intimate moment with T'Pol. When he awakens, Porthos still isn't doing well - Phlox's treatment was partially effective, but the beagle's pituitary gland is severely damaged. Phlox must now perform an intricate underwater operation to replace Porthos' pituitary gland with that of a Calrissian chameleon. During the operation, the doctor and the captain discuss Archer's possible attraction to T'Pol, Phlox's extended family and cultural differences. This conversation seems to give Archer a greater understanding of other cultures in general... and why he must apologize to the Kreetassans.
Returning to the Kreetassan homeworld, Archer performs a bizarre ritual that involves chopping off pieces of a tree trunk and arranging them in a certain pattern. The apology pleases the Kreetassans enough to earn Enterprise the plasma injector - as well as a couple of spares. Upon returning to Enterprise, Archer makes an apology of a more personal nature to T'Pol, and tells her that he's sorry for the recent conflicts between them. The apparent sexual tension between them remains unaddressed, however.
Returning to sickbay, Archer learns that the transplant went perfectly, and Porthos is on the road to recovery. Overjoyed, the captain thanks Phlox, and takes his pet home.
There are different kinds of bad episodes. There are episodes that are poorly written, episodes whose direction is so unstructured and clumsily paced that they're dreary and unwatchable, episodes ruined by bad acting and episodes that simply should never have been made. It was never a good idea to have Spock's brain be stolen by alien women leaving him with a remote controlled body. Having the DS9 crew play alien hopscotch or turning Paris into a catfish were never high points of their...
Ah, here we are at last, the bona fide uber-loser, an episode bereft of ... well, anything and everything resembling content.
Okay, it's not bereft of dumbness. There's plenty of that, since this is easily the dumbest concept for an episode of Star Trek since Star Trek: Voyager's holodeck was hijacked by the residents of Fair Haven (see "Spirit Folk", or, on second thought, don't).
Evidently, the writers are not treating this as season two of a series, but rather season nine (or later) of an...
"A Night in Sickbay", despite a couple of decent scenes here and there involving Dr. Phlox's culture, was one of those episodes that made me deeply embarrassed to be a regular Enterprise watcher - because, with this episode coming straight from the minds of the creators, it's clear that the series, or at least this aspect of it, assumes I am part of a very particular demographic.
That demographic, from all appearances, consists primarily of oversexed junior-high boys who drool with...
The following will be an irreverent review. Which does not mean I didn't like "A Night in Sickbay"; on the contrary, I thoroughly enjoyed it. So did my nine-year-old, who is thrilled that Enterprise now makes pee jokes every other episode. Between his bathroom humor and my slashing every character in sight...no, wait, the producers did that. We just couldn't help but notice.
This week, Kevin Sorbo created a lot of controversy among Andromeda fans by announcing that he wants the show to be...